Roles in Relationships

Traditional vs. Egalitarian families. Years back, families were known as traditional families, but as time passed, they have evolved into egalitarian families, with some traditional influences. I think this is a great change for the society now, because women are allowed to do more things, such as getting an education, to finding a good paying job to support their families. The presentation said that about 71% of women work outside of the home now, which is a huge number from when women were only thought to be stay at home mothers. No matter how society has changed, it seems that the men want to still remain somewhat in charge. We got on the discussion of if the wife makes more money, what does that mean for the husband? Some men can accept that, and others won't hear of it because then they aren't the ones who are providing for their families. I remember someone saying in class that their mother made more money than her father, and the mother wouldn't tell her husband how much she made, because she knew it would upset her husband. So it seems in some instances the man might feel ashamed if they aren't the dominant provider of the family. I never thought about this too much in depth before, but looking at my family, my mother was the main provider for a number of years. She worked in NYC, and would stay down there half a week, so my dad was the stay at home dad taking care of my brother and I. I guess I knew this was somewhat different, but I never thought that much of it. And in how things turned out, I am glad that for most of my life that my father was around. Not because I didn't like my mother, but it gave me the chance to be close with my father as well. If my mother hadn't been away, I think it would be harder for me to share some things with my father that I do now, or things we do together. It was a great relationship builder for me. This is not to say that I don't have a great relationship with my mother. I do, she has now retired and is at the house all the time, still making some money, but my father now has a job too. I never thought to ask my father how he felt about my mother going out and making the money for the household, but I think having this "switch" of roles, was a benefit for all of us, especially my brother and I. My father seems very happy to be working and earning money for our family now, and with his working I don't get to see him as much, but the way I was brought up, I wouldn't have it any other way. I got the best of both worlds. So back to the traditional versus egalitarian families, mine is definitely egalitarian. Both of my parents cook, and clean. My mother does most of the cleaning in the house, and my dad does most the outside work, but they also do work inside or out together, so there is some traditional influences.